Hard decisions

Hey all,

     As you all know I have been struggling and doing everything I possibly can to stay in school. We're going on week three in the school year and I still have not received my financial aid check. At the end of the second or third week (I'm not sure which one) you have to pay for your classes and if you don't they charge you extra. Since I haven't received my financial aid chick, I've been unable to buy any of my books I need and I haven't payed for my classes either. I went and talked to the financial aid people at my school and they basically told me I was S.O.L because I was only in week five out of a maximum twelve week wait... But not to worry because I could apply for a short term loan.. Right after I finished talking to them, I went and filled out the papers for the short term loan. And the lady working that the desk was a HUGE bitch and told me I also needed, this, this and this to apply but I couldn't do it today because she closed in three minutes. AWESOME....NOT!!! I was not happy. After everything is said and done, assuming I would get my loan approved right away (on monday), I will be a full two weeks behind in one of the classes, because I haven't even had the money to buy my books that I need. So I've sadly had to drop all of my classes. I'm having surgery on Tuesday, October 9th to have my port replaced. And having surgery means having to miss school, and by the time I would be able to return to school, I would be to far behind to catch up. I'm extremely sad and I couldn't be more disappointed that I have to drop my classes this term but I know it's the best decision for me in the long run. Going to school is something I thrive to do, I think it's because it gives me a sense of normality. UGH!!!!

A couple side notes:  
     My wonderful boyfriend Aaron just got a new job!! I'm so proud of him! He's my rock, I don't know what I would do without him. I honestly never thought I could and/or would find someone this amazing. When he tells me he loves me, I know that he truly means it, and there's nothing more meaningful in life than knowing someone truly loves you. 
     On october 3rd, we all celebrated my mommys birthday!!! Aaron, Ashley and I all cleaned the entire house for her and I bought her nice new pretty bedding :) Which she loved!! I love being able to find a way to show the women that means most to me and that has given me everything in life, that I love her, even if  it's something simple like getting her new bedding. I love you mama!!
     I got to have lunch with one of my cysters the other day. It was so nice to see her. She and her boyfriend Ben are going through some extremely tough times right now. Ben was severely injured in a diving accident and is now having to learn to live life in a whole new way. I don't know how daelee is doing what she's been doing. Even though daelee have CF and faces health problems every day of her life, she has not once left Bens side. I'm amazed by her strength that she's continued to have over the last month or so. I love you and Ben both. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers <3
     I went to the doctors last Tuesday (October 2nd) and everything went really well. I'm feeling a whole lot better than I did when I started IVs. My weight is up, my lungs are sounding better! All positive signs :) however, since I'm having surgery this coming Tuesday my doctors have decided to keep me on IVs a full three weeks, instead of two, just to be safe. It sucks, but it's most likely a good idea considering it took me four months to recover from my last surgery I had. Granted though, my last surgery was a lot more major than the one I'm about to have. 

I will try to keep this updated as much as I can the days following after my surgery but no promises! Please send me good thoughts and prayers on Tuesday around 12:30pm!!! Thank you!

- Amanda :)

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